Misty Krueger

How many meanings could one word have? This episode is named “Swish.” Let’s look at all the ways one might swish:

swish | swiSH | 

verb 1 [no object, with adverbial of direction] move with a hissing or rushing sound: a car swished by. • [with object] cause to move with a hissing or rushing sound: a girl came in, swishing her long skirts. • aim a swinging blow at something: he swished at a bramble with a piece of stick. 2 [with object] Basketball sink (a shot) without the ball touching the backboard or rim. 

noun 1 a hissing or rustling sound: he could hear the swish of a distant car. • a rapid swinging movement: the cow gave a swish of its tail. 2 Basketball, informal a shot that goes through the basket without touching the backboard or rim. 3 North American offensive an effeminate male homosexual. 

adjective informal 1 British impressively smart and fashionable: dinner at a swish hotel. 2 US offensive (of a man) effeminate. ORIGIN mid 18th century: imitative.

(Apple Dictionary)

Well, I did not know the offensive term or the fashionable definition. My understanding of “swish” has always been to move with rushing sound (or just the sound itself) or to aim a swinging blow at something (or simply the movement itself). I was also familiar with the basketball image, for I like to watch basketball. (Go, Spurs, go!) But that definition might be the one we actually need to pay attention to in this episode of Bridgerton:

a shot that goes through the basket without touching the backboard or rim

Yes, this is the episode where we see Simon and Daphne humping every five minutes. When they first started shagging in the episode my partner and I laughed and said, ha, a sex montage! Indeed, we had no idea that it was actually going to be a sex montage. While some viewers might have gotten all hot and bothered by the sex scenes–so. much. humping–I found it kind of awkward because it seemed so impersonal and detached. It felt a little robotic for my liking.

Yes, Daphne is getting a lot of pleasure, but it feels like a fraud because we know the whole time that while she has given herself over to intercourse, he really hasn’t. He’s on guard: can’t let that sperm escape and set up shop in Daphne’s body!

Now that Daphne is a sex veteran, though, she’s catching on to the feeling that something is amiss. Indeed, why does dear Simon pull out at the end of every sexcapade? As I said before, Daphne doesn’t know shit about sex, but she knows that something ain’t right here, so she eventually asks the wonderful maid, Rose, who tells her (off screen) all about how one actually makes babies.

Swish! Simon’s shot is going through the basket, but his penetration isn’t really touching the backboard or rim. Once Daphne figures this out, she decides to test her theory–which is that Simon can do more than swish. She learns that he does not have erectile dysfunction. He has prideful dysfunction!

The scene in which Daphne pins Simon to the bed and forces him to ejaculate inside her has been called a “rape scene that is not a rape scene”–that was a spoiler I saw on the internet without knowing which episode it would be in and what it would look like. I’m not sure all viewers would agree, but Daphne doesn’t give the duke much of a choice but to slam dunk it. Then she tells him off, as she should, for lying to her, and he, of course, says he never lied. Right. He said he “cannot” have children when he really meant “will not.” Those are two different things Daphne tells him, and she’s right! You can’t help but feel for this poor girl. I mean, the duke already broke his vow to his dad–he married–he might as well just give it up and sire some heirs. Maybe he already has.

But this episode probably wasn’t called “Swish” because of all of this. No, it’s a reference to Lady Featherington’s instructions to Marina to swish in her new gown before attending an important dinner with the Bridgertons. I gotta say, I have mixed feelings about Marina. I mean, I do get why she is looking to find a baby daddy quickly, and Collin’s a decent chap, so why not? But I don’t see how she’s gonna have a decent life once he finds out she has been keeping this secret and set her cap at him because she wanted to cover up the secret. On the other hand, I kinda respect her for looking out for herself and her unborn child. She does feel bad about taking Penelope’s beau away from her, but it’s more like a sorry not sorry kind of thing. Poor Pen does everything she can to thwart Marina’s intentions, but Marina’s swishing has everyone fooled (except the Featheringtons).

It’s interesting that by the end of this episode, Pen has told Eloise what happened and then the next day Lady Whistledown has shared Marina’s secret. I wonder how she knew! 🙂

Yours truly,

Lady Whatshername